Earth to Heaven Tips

Speaking the truth

Speaking the truth is a great issue I think.

I believe it  has three branches. The one is the truth we speak to ourselves, then the truth we speak to the  other people and last but not least our social truth.

It also has to do with the quality and quantity of our relationships.

The quality and quantity of our relationships is defined by our determination to speak the truth. We might loose friends, or I might say supposedly friends, because if they are not eager to hear the truth and talk about it with us even when they think we are not right but instead they end the relationship then they are not friends. The above applies of course to  intimate relationships. When the truth cannot be spoken then the relationship is not sincere. Timing is very important, not all moments are appropriate to open issues and flexibility in handling them very important too, I think.

Of course we should all be ready to also hear the truth and not only speak it.

The truth most of the times hurts and is  hard to digest and usually puts us in the unpleasant position to have to do something about things we previously didn’t realize exist or thought were different, but always makes us better, because we can’t correct our flaws otherwise or in other cases when it is not personal, we cannot have a realistic concept of people and circumstances that surround us.

It also has to do with our inner strength and how true we want to be with ourselves.

It also has to do with our estimation of how useful we think it is, at certain times, to speak it.

Let’s start with how true we want to be with ourselves. I think it is directly related to our inner strength, from the one hand and also how realistic is our perception of people’s  behaviors and the surrounding circumstances. It comes to my mind a quote from an interview with  Laird Hamilton, who is regarded by surfing historians as “the all times best of the best”,,  at big wave surfing, who said that his mother used to tell him”if you cannot be true to yourself then you cannot be true to anyone else”, adding that this is one of the guiding lines in his life.

The truth is, that it is hard to have the courage to acknowledge our flaws and difficulties and try to remedy them, but unless we do it we will never become a better version of ourselves. Additionally  to that, if we do not have a clear, true picture of the reality that surrounds us, we will never be in the position to decide about anything on true grounds. Starting from this foundation we then proceed to interact with others on a different basis, when speaking or facing the truth. Only this way true friendships and intimate relationships are builded.

Speaking the  truth to others has to do with our  willingness to face the difficulty and the consequences  emanating from  the act of communicating our opinion, when we know that our sayings will be unpleasant to the other person but at the same time true. This is a crash test in every relationship that many times we are not willing to do. We jeopardize the further existence of any relationship this way, but I think it is worth it. Any relationship that cannot stand the truth, is not really worth keeping in our lives. When everything communicated emanates from a positive intention, then it is beneficial to the other person because usually it is difficult for us to understand our own flows. Sometimes we might have to communicate the truth about certain events that the other side might has a misconception about them. All this is difficult stuff to handle, but definitely leaves  everybody benefited afterwards.

Socially we are often tempted to project a false image of ourselves because we think this will benefit us, the one or the other way. In ancient Greece they used to say “there is nothing you can hide from the sun”. It is a matter of time, that the true image will emerge and then what? One cannot support something that isn’t. So what is the benefit? It is only temporary and usually the damage done by revealing the truth great. Who wants fake people or fake situations around her/him?

Speaking the truth is certainly more difficult than not and it takes more guts to do it.  After the first discomfort and after things have been discussed and understood everyone is in a better position than before.

Therefore it is worth taking the risk of speaking up the truth, your truth, because relationships  and situations left in your life after that are worth having!



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