I definitely have the opinion that we should not pursue an interpersonal relationship in our life that does not flow untrammelled.
When we first meet a person sometimes we tend to project on him/her an ideal picture of him/her that we have in our mind which might not be representative of the person itself. Our insecurity of staying alone sometimes distorts reality. Enthusiasm from a new encounter is also a parameter that influences our judgement. All the above are in the human nature and happen to all of us but the way we manage them makes the difference in our life. It is so important in everything that happens in our life to have a clear view of the characters of the persons involved and also define objectively what the situation exactly is. We might not have the emotional strength needed at the time to avoid a situation or a person that are inappropriate for us and that is ok. What is not ok is thinking that the whole thing is something different from what it really is. It is of the utmost importance to have awareness. Awareness gives us the strength at a certain point to get ourselves and lives back in track, in due time and out of anything that doesn’t suit us. If we are aware, we have the strength of knowledge that enables us to take the right decision when we will be emotionally more mature and empowered. If we are not aware the picture in our mind is distorted therefore there is no hope escaping.
Sometimes we get into relationships which from the very beginning have difficulties hoping that things will get better over time. Usually this never happens. If we avoid such situations we give ourselves the opportunity to take a better chance with another person that might be a better match for us. Craving for things in an intimate relationship while the other person is in denial offering them, is not a promising start after all.
I am totally against the idea of manipulating people to stay with us. It will only bring us grief in the long term and discontent. We must be a choice for the other person. The other person should opt for us while having other options too. That’s my ideal starting and also continuation of an intimate relationship.
That is what I am always advising my friends men and women when I see them strained from a relationship.
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