I always had a different notion concerning the falling in love process, what it really is, what it really means, the way we should enter and sometimes exit it than what we have all been used hearing about.
My notion about being in love is that it is forever, provided that we find ourselves with the right person and be with her/him for the right reason.
When we fall in love we sometimes are in state where we really mix up the true self of the other person with the one we have created in our mind. As we come closer to the other person sometimes we tend to ignore the information we receive concerning the true characteristics of him/her sticking to the distorted image we have in our mind about this person. In the meantime the above creates conditions that are drifting us away from ourselves. We attempt to coordinate with a non existent personality . We also tend to forget that in the first place we got involved in this to become happier or at least this should be our major motive. In any relationship we should be happy and even more in an intimate one where both sides should receive from each other some of the most rewarding feelings. Instead it is very common, not being satisfied by the reality we are encountering, persisting with someone that exists only in our head. This way little by little we become disappointed and frustrated and as a consequence not happy. Then we refer to the doomsday theory about being in love, saying that it doesn’t last long and as soon as the two people get accustomed to each other, feelings start to deteriorate and change into something else called intimacy or real love and that it is not possible to stay in love with the same person for long.
I fully disagree and I will quote all my notions on the subject.
First of all I believe that we have to take into serious consideration our gut feeling. What our gut feeling says about the other person never mistakes. Mine never did.
If two people that really like each other, embrace the good and bad sides of each other, come close, this never stops. What the two admire about each other never stops it just gets better and better. Also the sides they hate on each other, can really be seen in humorous ways, provided of course this is mutual.
Making love to each other also gets better and better because making love is so much more than plain physical attraction. The power of the feelings generated and their impact on this act is immense and very poorly explored!
Provided that the two are feeling free in the relationship and they opt for it and they opt for each other this creates an environment that positively reinforces creativity in various aspects of the couples’ lives which is something that feeds the relationship with new things that never let the two getting bored from each other.
I do not believe in cliches we hear everywhere that after a few years you get bored from the other person. People get bored because they want to trap each other in conditions that deprive them of their freedom and also try to impose the one to the other their own preferences, so the consequence is that they do not engage in activities they like which rejuvenate them, they don’t learn anything new, they do not evolve as personalities, they do not explore anything, this way they don’t offer anything new to themselves and further to their relationship and of course at the end they get bored. They don’t only get bored with the other person but with themselves too!
Do you get bored with your best friend? No! Why? Because you are both feeling free exploring life and sharing experiences and good and bad times walking in parallel to each other and you enjoy it along with the strong emotional bond that ties you together. How many intimate relationships are founded on such a basis? If you believe that this is utopia for an intimate relationship I don’t. How many intimate relationships have been founded on basis other than financial, egoistic, status pursuit, trophy partner reasons?
When we fall in love we also get carried away from our feelings and forget that we both need space and time of our own, for the sake of our own development and unintentionally sometimes, move in a way that traps the other person and suffocates the relationship probably due to the insecurity of losing the source of our joy and happiness. This way we create the perfect conditions for losing not only the other person but ourselves too.
Falling in love with the right person for the right reasons, creates a relationship that has the potential to keep us happy, secure, creative, loved and much more opens a wonderful world to explore and live in, in the freedom of the other person’s company.
Listen to your inner voice about who the right person is for you, every combination is unique!
Then make sure you have the right motives to be with this person and then you will have a unique experience in your personal life. It is worth it to wait until the right one shows up, you will definitely recognize her/him!
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